How to build your child’s self-esteem

A child with good self-esteem tends to feel more liked and accepted by their peers, making them more confident and proud of their abilities. On the other hand, children with low self-esteem tend to be very critical and hard of themselves, unsure about their abilities. They tend to focus on their failures rather than their successes and for this reason they may be reluctant to try new things.

How do we, as parents, help build our child’s self-esteem?

Encourage them to try new things.
Teach them how to do something new by either showing them how to do it, helping them do it or letting them do it for themselves.
Teach them new skills such as art, cooking, music or sport.
Don’t allow them to be over critical of themselves or others.
Children mimic attitudes just as well as they mimic actions, so make positive comments about yourself and others when they are around.
Give your child genuine, specific praise that focusses on their efforts.
Address them by their name when you give praise.
Teach them that it is perfectly okay to make mistakes and that we have to learn from our mistakes to do better next time.
Self-esteem grows when you do something that you love really well. Help your child find something that they are interested in and help them master that skill.
Set SMART goals and help your child achieve these goals. SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
Give your child a sense of purpose in your family. This can be done by giving them a special age-appropriate task that only they can do.
Show them unconditional love and support – when they achieve new things, and especially when they don’t reach a goal they set-out for themselves.
Ask them for their opinion and advice on age-appropriate matters.
Spend time together. Make time in your schedule where you focus all of your attention on only them.
When you are playing games with your children, let them take the lead and guide you.

Resources:

Kids Health, 2018, Your Child’s Self-Esteem. Available at: https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/self-esteem.html (Accessed 22 July 2022)
Child Mind Institute, 12 Tips for Raising Confident Kids. Available at: https://childmind.org/article/12-tips-raising-confident-kids/ (Accessed 22 July 2022)