{"id":5688,"date":"2019-01-28T14:36:25","date_gmt":"2019-01-28T12:36:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/besigebreintjies.co.za\/?p=5688"},"modified":"2020-11-23T12:06:09","modified_gmt":"2020-11-23T10:06:09","slug":"chores-teamwork-and-high-expectations-5-habits-that-raise-responsible-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/besigebreintjies.co.za\/af\/chores-teamwork-and-high-expectations-5-habits-that-raise-responsible-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Chores, teamwork and high expectations: 5 habits that raise responsible kids"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Raise\nyour child with the expectation that we always clean up our own messes.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Begin\nby helping your child, until they learn it. They’ll learn it faster if you can\nbe cheerful and kind about it and remember not to sweat the small stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Encourage\nthem to help by handing them a sponge as you pick one up yourself, even when\nit’s easier to do it yourself. As long as you aren’t judgmental about it,\nthey’ll want to help clean up and make things better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So when\nyour toddler spills their milk, say “That’s ok. We can clean it up,”\nas you hand them a paper towel and pick one up yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nyour pre-schooler leaves their shoes scattered in your path, hand them to them\nand ask them to put them away, saying kindly “We always clean up our own\nstuff.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\nwill have to do this, in one form or another, until they leave your home. But\nif your approach is positive and light-hearted, your child won’t get defensive\nand whine that you should do the clean-up. And when kids hear the constant\nfriendly expectation that “We always clean up our own messes…Don’t\nworry, I’ll help….Here are the paper towels for you; I’ll get the\nsponge…” they become both easier to live with and better citizens of the\nworld.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Kids need an opportunity to contribute\nto the common good.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

All\nchildren contribute to the rest of us in some way, regularly. Find those ways\nand comment on them, even if it is just noticing when they are kind to their\nyounger siblings or that you enjoy how they\u2019re always singing. Whatever\nbehaviours you acknowledge will grow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As your\nchildren get older, their contributions should increase appropriately, both\nwithin and outside the household. Kids need to grow into two kinds of\nresponsibilities: their own self-care, and contributing to the family welfare.\nResearch indicates that kids who help around the house are also more likely to\noffer help in other situations than kids who simply participate in their own\nself-care.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of\ncourse, you can’t expect them to develop a helpful attitude overnight. It helps\nto steadily increase responsibility in age appropriate ways. Invite toddlers to\nput napkins on the table, three-year-olds to set places. Four-year-olds can\nmatch socks, and five-year-olds can help you groom the dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Six-year-olds\nare ready to clear the table, seven-year-olds to water plants, and\neight-year-olds to fold laundry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember that no kid in his right mind\nwants to do chores.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unless\nyou want your child to think of contributing to the family as drudgery, don’t\nmake them do chores without you until they are a regular part of your family\nroutine and one that your child does not resist. Your goal isn’t getting this\njob done, it’s shaping a child who will take pleasure in contributing and\ntaking responsibility.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Make\nthe job fun. Give as much structure, support, and hands-on help as you need to,\nincluding sitting with them and helping for the first thirty times they do the\ntask, if necessary. Know that it will be much harder than doing it yourself.\nRemind yourself that there’s joy in these tasks, and communicate that, along\nwith the satisfaction of a job well done. Eventually, they will be doing these\ntasks by themselves, and that day will come much faster if they enjoy them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Always let children “do it\nmyself” and “help,” even when it’s more work for you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\nwill always be more work for you. But toddlers want desperately to master their\nphysical worlds, and when we support them to do that, they step into the\nresponsibility of being “response-able.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So\ninstead of rushing through your list, reframe. You’re working with your child\nto help them discover the satisfaction of contribution. That’s more important\nthan having the job done quickly or perfectly. Notice that you’re also bonding,\nwhich is what motivates kids to keep contributing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Rather than simply giving orders, try\nasking your child to do the thinking.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

For\ninstance, to the dallying child in the morning, instead of barking “Brush\nyour teeth! Is your backpack packed? Don’t forget your lunch!”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You\ncould ask, “What’s the next thing you need to do to get ready for\nschool?”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The goal is to keep them focused on their list, morning after morning until they internalize it and begin managing their own morning tasks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Source: <\/strong>Motherly<\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Raise your child with the expectation that we always clean up our own messes. Begin by helping your child, until they learn it. They’ll learn it faster if you can be cheerful and kind about it and remember not to sweat the small stuff. Encourage them to help by handing them a sponge as you pick one up yourself, even when it’s easier to do it yourself. As long as you aren’t judgmental about it, they’ll want to help clean up and make things better. So when your toddler spills their milk, say “That’s ok. We can clean it up,” as you hand them a paper towel and pick one up yourself. When your pre-schooler leaves their shoes scattered in your path, hand them to them and ask them to put them away, saying kindly “We always clean up our own stuff.” You will have to do this, in one form or another, until they leave your home. But if your approach is positive and light-hearted, your child won’t get defensive and whine that you should do the clean-up. And when kids hear the constant friendly expectation that “We always clean up our own messes…Don’t worry, I’ll help….Here are the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5688","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-interesting-articles"],"yoast_head":"\nChores, teamwork and high expectations: 5 habits that raise responsible kids - Besige Breintjies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/besigebreintjies.co.za\/af\/chores-teamwork-and-high-expectations-5-habits-that-raise-responsible-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Chores, teamwork and high expectations: 5 habits that raise responsible kids - Besige Breintjies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Raise your child with the expectation that we always clean up our own messes. Begin by helping your child, until they learn it. They’ll learn it faster if you can be cheerful and kind about it and remember not to sweat the small stuff. Encourage them to help by handing them a sponge as you pick one up yourself, even when it’s easier to do it yourself. As long as you aren’t judgmental about it, they’ll want to help clean up and make things better. So when your toddler spills their milk, say “That’s ok. We can clean it up,” as you hand them a paper towel and pick one up yourself. When your pre-schooler leaves their shoes scattered in your path, hand them to them and ask them to put them away, saying kindly “We always clean up our own stuff.” You will have to do this, in one form or another, until they leave your home. But if your approach is positive and light-hearted, your child won’t get defensive and whine that you should do the clean-up. 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